Very Good Counseling EMDR Therapy Because You Matter

The Romance Rollercoaster: ADHD in Adults and Relationships

May 14, 2024 | 0 comments


The information provided here is not intended to be a substitute for professional health and mental health care or consultation. Individuals who believe they may require or benefit from treatment should seek the advice of a psychologist or other licensed mental health professional.

Very Good Counseling is a private practice of licensed mental health therapists who specialize in EMDR.  We provide online mental health services to individuals throughout the State of Florida,  and in-person at our office in Fort Myers, FL. For more information, contact us.

by: <a href="" target="_blank">Robert Engle, EMDRIA-Approved EMDR Therapist</a>

by: Robert Engle, EMDRIA-Approved EMDR Therapist

Because We Believe You Matter

Robert joined the practice full time in 2022 to help neurodivergent individuals with ADHD, anxiety, and depression find freedom and enjoy life through counseling. He is currently working towards becoming a Certified ADHD Professional (ADHD-CCSP). Trained in EMDR therapy, he excels at understanding the intricacies of ADHD and Trauma.

Let’s dive into a topic that probably hits close to home for many of us – ADHD in adults and relationships. Like a buzzing city, there’s always something going on in the mind of an adult with ADHD. And if you’re the one in a relationship with them, you know there’s always something exciting or unexpected waiting just around the corner. 

For the partner of an adult with ADHD it’s like living in a perpetual state of spontaneity, which can be both thrilling and, let’s be honest, sometimes a bit chaotic. But hey, who said love was meant to be a predictable ride, right? 

Now, here’s the real deal – sometimes, focus takes a break, and attention decides to explore every distraction in the room. Ever been there? Yeah, it’s a journey. So, let’s dive into the nitty-gritty of what it’s like to have an ADHD partner in the romantic mix. We’re all in this together, navigating the twists and turns of love, ADHD style.

Buckle up for a candid exploration of the highs, lows, and loop-de-loops that come with navigating love and connection when ADHD is in the mix. Our pro tips will help you ride the relationship rollercoaster with more ease, understanding, and maybe even a few laughs along the way.

Navigating the ADHD Impact on Relationships 

So, you’ve got a partner with ADHD, and have found that life is a bit of a whirlwind? Welcome to the world of ADHD in adults and relationships. We totally get it. ADHD can unpredictably shake up your usual relationship dance with its curious quirks – from impulsive moves to time slipping through your fingers. 

Being in a romantic relationship with someone who has ADHD can be like having to learn a new dance continuously. The first groove towards a smoother connection is to understand the basic steps, then the unique steps become an achievable combination of what you’ve already grasped.

ADHD and Adults in Relationships: 4 Focuses for Partners

Dialing in Communication for Couples

Ah, communication – the ultimate relationship DJ! Now, when ADHD throws in its own remix, things can get funky. Imagine it like tuning in to your favorite radio station – smooth, easy, and full of good vibes. But, every now and then, there’s a bit of static, a hiccup in the frequency. 

Fear not! We’ve got some slick moves to share to keep the conversation flowing and make sure you’re both on the same wavelength. With a bit of practice, you’ll be dancing through conversations like Fred and Ginger, ADHD style.

After all, communication is like a dance, right? Sometimes you’re gliding smoothly, and other times you’re stepping on each other’s toes. When ADHD is in the picture, you might find yourself doing the cha-cha with a bit of unpredictability thrown in. 

That’s where active listening becomes your go-to move. Tune in, really hear what your partner is saying, and let them know you’re on the same beat.

Setting clear expectations is like having a roadmap for your dance routine. It’s about being upfront with each other, letting your partner know what you need, and understanding what they need in return. No more accidental tango when you were expecting a waltz.

Now, finding those sweet beats in conversation? That’s where it gets interesting. ADHD can sometimes add a bit of jazz to your dialogues – unexpected and full of improvisation. Embrace it! Use those moments to explore new topics, share your thoughts, and keep the conversation fresh.

So, whether you’re waltzing smoothly or jiving to a new rhythm, remember that communication is your dance floor. With a bit of patience, active listening, and some cool moves, you’ll find your own unique groove. 

Grooving to the Emotional Connection 

The emotional connection is often the main concern when addressing ADHD in adults and relationships. After all, the emotional connection is the heart of relationships, especially romantic ones. 

Hey, we’re all about harmony here. That means it’s time to dive into the tunes of emotional validation, sync up your shared experiences, and celebrate each other’s wins. That emotional connection in your relationship can become extra special because we’re turning it up to eleven!

Yes, the emotional connection takes on a unique rhythm when ADHD is in the mix. Imagine it as your favorite song, but with a few unexpected beats. You can choose to let it through you off or you can use it to your advantage to keep you on your toes. After all, emotional connection in any relationship is like a dance between partners.

Have you ever felt like the emotional playlist was out of sync? Trust me, you’re far from alone. ADHD can throw in a few curveballs, but here’s the thing – those unexpected beats? They’re part of what makes your dance together so extraordinary. Think of emotional validation as your partner saying, “I hear you, I get you, and I’m right here with you on this dance floor.” It can feel as good to give as to get.

Creating shared experiences is like having your special dance move. It’s those moments that are uniquely yours, little inside jokes or memories that strengthen the bond. Whether it’s tackling a new recipe, going on a spontaneous road trip, or just binge-watching your favorite show – these shared experiences add depth and connection to your dance. Embrace them on purpose.

Celebrating each other’s wins is like cheering for your partner’s solo on the dance floor. Whether big or small, every victory deserves a shout-out. It’s about recognizing and appreciating those moments that make your partner shine. Your applause is like saying, “Hey, you nailed that move, and I’m proud of you!”. You can add strength to your relationship.

So, here’s the deal – emotional connection with ADHD in the mix might have a few unexpected twists, but those twists? They’re what make your dance unique and beautiful. Embrace the spontaneity, create and cherish your shared experiences, and always cheer each other on. Your dance floor is a space for connection, celebration, and a whole lot of love. Now, let’s keep grooving, ADHD style.

Riding the ADHD-Related Challenges Together 

ADHD is like a rollercoaster, but who says rollercoasters are solo adventures? Now let’s talk teamwork. As we’ve already suggested, ADHD might throw in a few loop-de-loops in the track that is your relationship, but facing them together makes the ride more thrilling. 

The loop-de-loops often come in the form of things like time management, structure, and general responsibilities – tackle these twists as a duo. Build a united front, and suddenly, ADHD challenges become just another part of your shared adventure, the one you enjoy.

Does time management in your relationship sometimes feel like herding cats? Guess what, you’re not alone. The key to tackling this twist in the rollercoaster ride involves creating a game plan together. Set up routines, use visual cues, and maybe throw in a shared calendar – because, let’s face it, schedules are sometimes the GPS you both need.

Structure becomes your trusty navigator on this rollercoaster. ADHD might sprinkle in a bit of unpredictability, but having a structured approach helps smooth out the ride. Outline responsibilities, create daily routines, and establish a framework that works for both of you. Approach accountability with love and tenderness.

Collaborating on responsibilities is like riding in sync on a tandem bike. Yes, there’s a lot we can appreciate and enjoy when it comes to ADHD in adults and relationships. It’s about finding that perfect balance, understanding each other’s strengths, and working together to conquer the hills and valleys. When you approach tasks as a united front, even the steepest hills become manageable.

Remember, this relationship ride is an adventure you’re sharing. It’s not always smooth, but the bumps and turns are part of what makes it uniquely yours. So, tighten those seatbelts, communicate openly, and pedal through the challenges together. 

Getting in Tune with Professional Support 

Now, let’s zoom in on a game-changer in the relationship playbook – individual counseling and having an expert guide you through the dance with ADHD. Consider it like having a seasoned coach helping you refine your moves, not just for your own benefit but for the greater harmony of your relationship.

Individual therapy is your personal jam session, a space where you get to dive deep into the intricacies of ADHD and how it shapes your individual melody. It’s not about changing your tune but understanding it better, finding the beats that resonate, and fine-tuning your instrument for a more harmonious sound.

Managing ADHD is like mastering the scales of a musical instrument; it takes practice, dedication, and sometimes, a skilled instructor. Having an expert assist with ADHD management strategies is your backstage pass to a smoother performance in your relationship. It’s about developing tools to navigate the challenging riffs, ensuring you hit the right notes in your personal and relational composition.

When you invest in managing ADHD on an individual level, you’re not just fine-tuning yourself; you’re contributing to the overall harmony of your relationship. It’s like finding your rhythm so that when you come together with your partner, the melody flows more effortlessly.

So, think of individual counseling and ADHD management strategies as your personal concerto, a journey towards creating a more balanced and refined piece of music in your relationship. It’s not about changing who you are but enhancing your skills to bring out the best in both you and your relationship. After all, a well-tuned instrument adds depth and richness to the entire symphony. Embrace the process, and watch as your relationship melody reaches new heights.


And there you have it – a backstage pass to navigating the venue of ADHD in adults and relationships. Remember, relationships are a wild ride for everyone, and adding ADHD to the mix just makes it a bit more interesting. So, buckle up, enjoy the adventure, and know that you’re not alone on this rollercoaster. Happy riding, you lovebirds!

Start your healing journey with us. 

Not to brag, but we’re Very Good.

Most Recent Posts

from the Very Good Blog


Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *